she/her

By Bella Carr

sometimes i take a quick look

in the mirror

on my door or in the bathroom

see myself

maybe i’ve just gotten out of bed

or maybe i’m just home from school

i see myself

and i feel content

i see the person across the glass

she looks like me

looks like a she

looks normal

looks like what the average person looks like

i go into the bathroom

i take a shower

and feel that weight on my chest

i come out of the shower

get dressed

wear something i’d like

and that isn’t a compromise

i go and look at my face

no need to shave it

i look at my head hair

long and past my shoulders

i look at those shoulders

slim and narrow

i look at my waist

also slim and narrow

i look in the mirror again

“i look good”, i think

“i look pretty”

“i look hot”

and more than anything

“i look like myself”

then i get on my computer

put on my headset

talk to my friends

about whatever is up that day

then i wake up

and here we are now

Bella Carr (she/her) is a transgender student and writer from New Orleans, Louisiana. She is also autistic, lesbian, and Creole, and so her writing is focused on those groups and issues they face, as well as her own experiences between them. She writes primarily in her native language of English, but also occasionally in French, Louisiana Creole, and Toki Pona. She plans to study linguistics in college.